I was laying in bed at 2 am with quiet tears falling down my cheeks wetting my pillow. I rolled over, got out of bed and crept out of the bedroom so I didn't disturb my family. I had the air conditioning on and wanted to see if it was still humid outside, but I didn't want to wake Taz by using the back door.
I walked through the living room and pushed down the bit of fear I always have of the dark. My hand grabbed the cool brass of the front door and I twisted it open and stepped outside.
It was humid, but not hot. It felt like everything was dripping with moisture, with fresh tears. The concrete step was cool as I lower myself down and sat heavily. I stared straight ahead at the road. At the site where Gizmo lost his light and I wept.
A black pick up truck drove by and I tried not to picture the wheel running over the small tender body of Gizmo, but it came into my mind before I could block the horrible image. I shook with the heaviness of knowing and squeezed my eyes tightly shut burying my eyes into my hands trying to breathe.
I forced my eyes open and with a bit of gold magic I imagined my Gizmo getting up and trotting up the front walkway to meet me on the porch.
I smiled at Gizmo afraid that if I touched him he would vanish, so I opened the front door and invited him into the house. He entered with excitement and danced across the living room with his toe nails making that undeniable sound on the floor.
I said "hey little dude, let's go up to bed" and he ran in a circle and then up the stair ahead of me. He waited at the top of the steps and then we both turned into the bedroom. I lifted him onto the bed and watched as he curled into his spot. I crawled into bed and stroked his head "good night Giz" I whispered and finally fell asleep.
I woke this morning remembering my night time stroll with Gizmo and smiled, but the grief struck me in the chest and my smile turned to tears. I miss my little dude.
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