My dear Amy,
I don't know what I have to say will bring you any relief, but this I know to be true. He's safe in the hands of his Maker. I saw him go to the other side for I helped guide him there upon hearing of his passing. He hesitate to crossover the bridge, but I told him that he must go there and play in the meadow with my Sugar and Zangi and when the time comes we will all join him. He is surrounded with love there, so he is not alone.. He promised to keep an eye out for you. The grief you feel is more than gut wrenching, this I also know. I compare it to losing a child, it feels like a piece of your soul has been torn asunder by a hurricane. You feel like you are drowning in your own tears and you can't come up for air. Your body feels beaten up, your head throbs from all the "what ifs" . No other grief will ever compare to what your are experiencing. Gizmo's life was filled with love because of you! He knew what you went through to get him and how you made him his own, he made you his world. Oh, how he wanted to please you! He could never find enough ways to say thank you for saving him. Thats why he was so good with the other dogs you brought home. He understood where they were coming from and would tell them what a wonderful life they were going to have with their very own family (once my mommy fixes you up, you'll be good as new!") He gave them courage, trust, understanding, patiences and love. He gave everything he knew and learned from you.
He was and is, so proud of you! For he felt he had the best mommy in the world. He knew how special he was all the time. He accomplished things on this earth that most people (muchless dogs) don't get to do. He wants to say thank you for believing in him and never giving up on him, no matter how ruff things got. You just loved him through it all. He says he's going to tell everybody about his mommy and daddy on earth, so everyone will know who you are when you come. But don't rush mommy! I'm okay waiting for you!
He sees your tears, even the ones you don't shed. And this saddens him, but he is knows this means you love him and miss him. He is boasting, again! "Celebrate my life, mommy!" Celebrate my life!" For I will celebrate yours everytime I see you share life and love with another dog! It means you loved me and honoured me. It means I was special!" Don't worry, I know you can't forget me! No matter how far away I am, I'm really not that far. If you sit very still, you can feel me.
God! This dog is making me cry again! He sealed my fate with shi tzus I think forever! Pure love he was! Pure dark chocolate love!
Oh oh! One more message from Gizmo! "Good cookies, mommy! good treats! I love you! I love you! I love you!" I must have done something really good, because I am being spoiled!!!! Thank you for loving me for no one could have loved me more! I am the luckiest lil'boy! oh, and mommy? Its ok to love again. I'm so proud of you!" Snuggles and Licks!
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