I don't get excited about many things anymore. Mom was the engine that brought the excitement to the holidays. Christmas anticipation, Easter egg fun, Halloween spookiness and even Canada Day. My sister and I became apathetic about the holidays after she died, no longer worried that mom might be upset if we weren't super excited. For the first few years it was a relief, but now it seems a little sad.
I've tried to muster up some excitement for Christmas, but deep down I don't feel the magic of the one-of-a-kind snowflake. I'm not a grinch and I'll happily watch other people get excited, but rarely do I feel it where it counts. I was excited to marry Brent, but that's a once in lifetime thing.
I live a calmer, more content life where there aren't as many ups and downs. I live more in the middle of the road rather than swerving all over with my foot to the floor and white knuckles gripping the wheel. Now I drive a Smart car in every sense of the word. I am not disappointed.
I am deep down happy. I feel lucky everyday. I feel blessed. I am joyful. I am not excited, at least not until I heard about the Canine Club Getaway. I can hear your eyes rolling, but hear me out.
I love my dogs. It's the thing I'm into. I love them, have fun with them and it rarely feels like work. Some people drive all over to watch NASCAR, football, hike the mountains, knit, read, smoke weed, race bicycles, motorcycles and dirt cars. People spend thousands on soccer, baseball, dance, karate, piano, riding lessons and lacrosse for their kids. Me? I love my dogs.
When I heard about the Getaway back in February I was excited. Five days to spend doing fun things with dogs. Fly ball, agility, luring, obedience and doggie crafts. There are seminars on pet first aid, behaviour training and a one on one with a vet. This sounds like heaven.
I booked my early bird special and then waited - not patiently - for several months. Then June came and it was a whirlwind. I've barely had time to sleep, yet alone spend any quality time with my computer. Woofstock was fantastic and after that amazing weekend I encountered some personal issues that kept me so busy I didn't realize it was nearly time to go.
I was disappointed that I didn't get crazy excited. I didn't have time, but it's the night before and I'm excited. The dogs are groomed, my Smart car is packed to the limit and I can't wait to hit the road at 7am.
Just me and my three dogs for five days spending time with a hundred other people who love dogs like I love dogs. I have a five and a half hour drive to Lake George, NY before I register at Roaring Brook Ranch and Resort, but my adventure started today. I carefully picked out dog clothes for pictures and costume parties. I packed some fun clothes for me and all the toys and treats I could find.
I gathered things to donate to the rescue fund silent auction and found myself daydreaming about tomorrow and now tomorrow is nearly here.
I'm glad I feel excited again. Its extra special because it's not replacing anything. There were many dark clouds throughout my life and they seem to gather like giant thunderheads pounding me down. Even into adult life I've had to endure some dark realities, but I've continued forward until I found the life I wanted.
I used to get excited to cover up loneliness, grief or sadness. This time I feel happy, loved, joyful and excited. I am lucky. This is the sun breaking through my clouds and giving me a little silver lining.
You can mock my love of dogs and that I'd spend a week at the Canine Club Getaway in the beautiful Catskill Mountains taking a course called "Power Pool Lounging" but how bad does it really sound?
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